Can I tell you a secret?

I've had more than two cocks up my ass. 

No wait, I'm still a virgin.

Nevermind.

Alas, a real secret.

I may be a little pregnant, and at the same time, and I know, not at the right time - a little intoxicated.

Shhh. Don't tell the baby. I don't want him coming out crying. Not him. Not her.

This isn't Danny Huynh by the way.

I'm sorry if you're ashamed of me. Carry on with your lives and never think of me, if you wish.

But the truth is, I feel like I'm sinking.

Drowning, almost.

But I'm nowhere near water. I'm not wading in quicksand. I'm simply standing so far off the ground, I don't even know if I'm standing or floating or swimming, or lost.

I'll raise it right. I mean him. Or her. I'll buy a beautiful diamond ring in the song. But the bird would be dangerous.I don't want him ( or her) getting too attached to anyhting living. Other than myself. I think I'll raise  the baby right. Babies drink milk, they eat milk, they sleep and cry and shit. That's about it. I'll buy a book for him? I'll make a little toy for her. And for her and for him.

I'm a little bit pregnant. Just a bit, for now.

Who am I?

Numer Eins?

Numer Zwei?

 
Numer Drei?

I'm pregnant with myself. And how does one come to this situation? Well one must have sex with oneself. But who is willing? Only the ones who see eternal bliss in their own refelctyion. Guten nacht und auf wiedersehen.