Anyways so i was thinking about ... How to think ... About living. Because i feel like im just waiting for .. The moment where we are all living our happy lives with our family, with a job and what not. And it feels like.. That itll never come. This golden moment where we will feel satisfied... Or maybe its just me. Like when does the peak end and when do we do stop reaching and .. Settle. Because there it feels like the peak never ends... But i dont want to stop climbing. And so i keep asking myself. Do i live for today or keep finding the perfect tomorrow. And you know the saying 'tomorrow never comes because tomorrow becomes today'. So i feel like im living in a state where ill never be content with what i have because im always putting my happiness in the future and when the future comes it feels like it slips further into the future and so the chase never ends. And the silly thin anout this is that ... Well its all pretty much in my head... But i feel like i have no control over it...
This need to feel ' living in the moment' is too ...
Also what is worth living to do? After seeing neil patricks opening for the tony awards ... I really really miss the stage spotlight... The drama... The acting ... The applause and praisal... The adrenaline.
Like a sense of ... Joy.
That butterfly feeling before the curtains...
And the fear of screwing up in the moment.
But when you dont... When youre in that moment of living IN the moment, for the moment...... Arghh
The future sucks... Its like driving blind...( because we cant see where we going) with only one hand on the wheel ( because we never use our full potential)
While getting a blowjob ( because of the small pleasures of life which only last for awhile before you go into a refractory period)
OMG I HOPE I PASS PSYC AND CHEM :(
No comments:
Post a Comment